CPAC 2014 my top ten tweets

I love top ten lists.


Here are my top ten tweets from CPAC 2014, chosen by a distinguished panel of one… me.

1. It would have been better to get up an hour earlier so that I could see Senator Ted Cruz’s opening speech live. But, alas, I didn’t. Next time I swear.

2. After a rather flat first day, the second day started with more promise. Dan Bongino, my candidate for Maryland District 6, guest-hosted for the Chris Plante Show and Governor Rick Perry (to use a phrase that normally sets my teeth on edge) KILLED IT!

3. I think of myself as rather tech-savvy. (I’m probably not, when compared to…

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CPAC. Just say no to rational thought!

Mass Delusion- CPAC be thy name-

Every year a group of Republicans attend a super secret conference where they solidify their pact with dark forces through rituals, readings, speeches, invocations, and numerous performances of inanity. This is CPAC!

The requisite appearances by conservative “babes” were amongst the most well attended and covered events. Ann Coulter’s saucy performance art brought the crowd ( well the under 65 crowd) to their knees. Her wisdom spewing like the fount of a knowledge geyser she truly let out some zingers: “poor women should keep their legs closed before marriage”. Brilliant. My grandmother couldn’t have said it better!

Sarah Palin’s rousing reading of Macbeth’s soliloquy was sublime. I truly felt her pain- oh she read Green Eggs and Ham instead? Oh well nobody cares about a broody Danish prince anyway it’s not like the medieval genre is all over television or anything. Cough. Cough. Crickets,


Never having been a poor single mother Ann Coulter as usual seems to have confused “crazy shit Madea says” with actual solutions for public policy issues. Surely conservatives have ideas to solve the endemic socioeconomic difficulties that result in a circular path of single motherhood that is only reversed through improved public education and access to contraception as well as exposure to ideas about respecting your body and yourself. Ah crickets again.


Oh Sarah you scallywag! What have you been up to? Apparently she could not think of a more erudite reading for CPAC than a children’s book. Bully for you Sarah! Katie Couric can shove it because you do read! I heard you got a subscription to Tiger Beat and In Touch Weekly. Who needs to read wonky magazines like Foreign Affairs, The Atlantic, or Vogue? Not Caribou Barbie that’s for sure doncha know.


I am not sure whether I want to plead with Marco Rubio my fellow Floridian to get away from Chancellor Palpatine and the evil side of the force and join the Jedi. He seems like an amiable enough young fellow who is just seriously misguided. I am sure if he thought about some of the statistics reflecting a HUGE problem that is about to hit Florida he would revise his policy stances. When there are 10,000 people homeless in the Orlando Metro Area and about 3,000 homeless on the Space Coast you might worry that your state’s rep as a family destination will suffer right? This isn’t NY homelessness etc. In Florida the homeless are EVERYWHERE near the beach ( which I would be too- food, warmth, water) and it is amusing to watch the discomfitting expressions of the wealthy beachsiders as the population of homeless people increases daily. So Rubio could be a hero avoid thorny questions regarding immigration ( we are just not there yet on a few “gateways” between Canada, US, and Mexico) and can address the problems of Florida.


Nevermind. He won’t.  CPAC is a self congratulation fest- we aren’t poor and god damnit we hate the poor!!!

If I wanted to see drooling fan boys I will watch youtube videos of comic con because at least the people are cooler and the costumes are better.

Earthquakes, stage collapses, planes going missing. This is the end.

The weekend has seen a few strange news stories. These events could be random- the stage in California may have been old. Earthquakes always happen in California. Planes do not always go missing. That is unusual. However as we evolve past superstition and realize that weird happenings are part of life then we can stop blaming a man/woman in the sky for our piddly human problems. New hastags #humanegos #godisbusy so don’t worry. God will or won’t protect you. It is her choice. 

PTO Night and my musings on feminism: Ides of March

Ides of March:

March 5th- PTO Night and My first attempt at a feminist blog


PTO NIght- We usually do not attend these events but in an effort to practice what I preach tonight I am going. My notebook and pen will be at the ready. I will feel successful if I manage to have one semi awkward conversation with a fellow parent that does not center on pop culture, the weather, or our kids. That might be difficult…. maybe we can talk about wine and cooking! Yeah that will work.


Since I am not an academic feminist I bring a slew of non correct adjectives and language to the table. One group I feel is underrepresented in third wave post modern deconstruction feminism are single mothers and lesbians who choose to stay in the closet. One of my best friends is a lesbian but is not out openly- she lives with her girlfriend, my step-niece and my biological niece and most of our neighbors “knew” she was a lesbian but when I lent her Rebecca Walker’s “To Be Real” she handed back to me in a day and said “ I will NEVER be a lesbian feminist” . Her sexuality  was not her defining characteristic which made a hell of a lot of sense. I certainly would hate that my relationships with men be the sole identifier of me as woman. Oh wait that already happened to me- “ Hi this is Natalie so and so’s girlfriend/wife/baby mama”.


i think part of academic feminism’s reticence to embrace single mothers is that we made the wrong choices if we are poor and still had children. Their concepts and being raised in a plethora of  middle and upper middle class values imbue them with disdain towards working class women, women of color and women who are poor.


It is hard to identify with such a fractionalized movement. i don’t see where my marxist economic, political and social agenda fit in the neat categories that feminism tries to impose on women. I don’t blame the current crop of feminist authors- they feel that the women’s movement has failed. I know that the original white yuppie women who “ran” the movement did not realize some women of color felt marginalized.  I do think the alienation of single mothers, poor women and working class women was part of a concerted effort to keep the movement on “topic”.  Staying on message means avoiding topics like poverty, motherhood, and even domestic violence especially if a woman wants to stay with her abuser or return to him. These are all splinter and identity issues though.


If I want to self identify as a feminist I really don’t need to pander to academia as my major is not women’s studies. I can rail about the injustices of patriarchy and oligarchy and try to educate the broader community about the divisive role that identity politics  plays in keeping women apart.  Who benefits when women blog about how bad an actress in her 60’s look? Who benefits from the “mommy wars”? Who benefits from using the media and culture to reinforce impossible ( or damn near impossible) standard of beauty? In politics there is an old adage “ Divide and Conquer”. Don’t women see how easy it is to divide us and distract us from the real issue of a male dominated society? A house divided against itself cannot stand. Indeed. Don’t believe for one second that the male pundits and their female shills can’t see the divides in the feminist “movement” and try to exploit each division at every turn. Body shaming- an invention of men that is perpetuated by women. Race baiting- to see black and white women argue about political issues instead of agreeing that the man who hosts the show is pretty ignorant and high fiving one another as they depose him and take over. Keep dividing and eventually you will have nothing left.


Random Ideas on Local Advocacy in your child’s school

1.  Go out into the community and find businesses who have services and products that your school may need- for example if your child attends a Title 1 school this means 55% or more of the students qualify for SNAP benefits. Ask local bakeries, grocers, and eateries if they have a program for disposing of unused and unspoiled food. Many times we assume no as an answer without even asking for help. 

If there is a local printing shop ask if they would be willing to donate unused paper. 

Ask artists in the community if they would be interested in school beautification projects such as painting murals, heading an art club, or even teaching a class every few months. 

Find out who the school board members are and try to attend one meeting every 3-4 months to find out what issues they are addressing. If you know of a problem bring it to their attention. 


Have people gotten meaner in the last 14 years? As a former census worker I would say yes.

Were people nicer 14 years ago? As a former census worker I would say yes.

It was around noon in May 2000 and I had been working since 9 am finding errant citizens who had forgotten or lost their 2000 Census long forms. After spending 3 hours determining which properties were vacant, or leaving notes warning of my imminent return I finally began to look for those addresses that showed signs of being occupied and finding the residents within. On my first round of addresses I was assigned to four local retirement manufactured home communities in my county. The first time I knocked a genial looking older gentleman of around 70 answered the door of his comfy looking ,manufactured home and before I could get through my spiel about the census etc etc he asked if I wanted to come out on the back porch ( which had a large fan) and have a cup of lemonade or sweet tea. At first hesitating ( I was 22 and stranger danger warnings still would be in my head at odd times) I accepted and spent 2 hours in the company of Mr. and Mrs. Robertson discussing Wisconsin, retirement, the grandchildren they never saw, why a “pretty” girl like me wasn’t married, my purple camaro, iced tea, Southerners ( they were incredulous that I was actually born in Florida), how often I visited my grandmother ( once a month minimally), and how long they had been married I can say I was genuinely charmed. And refreshed ready to tackle my next address. Which was 2 trailers ( manufactured homes darling) downand according to my new friends occupied. I drove my car 20 feet forward and smoked a quick cig while refreshing my survey supplies. Again I was greeted by a cornucopia of wind chimes, signs, and overall porch cuteness. Again my knock was answered by a fellow in his 70’s who interrupted my spiel and said “I have the form on the counter dear would you like to sit out on the front porch while I get it”. Realizing that sitting on the porch was a bit of a ritual with these sweet seniors I accepted and had yet another glass of lemonade. This visit was much shorter as I only had to help the gentleman answer one question and I was on my way down the cul de sac. Remembering these kind people and contrasting them with the retirees I meet today is an exercise in stark contrasts. I doubt if anyone today would care if a census worker was thirsty. 

Indeed by the time the 2010 census rolled around and I again was hired as an enumerator we were warned to not engage the public, we had to wear vests, badges, and carry an official Census tote. 

I doubt if anyone today would invite a young woman on their porch even a white woman. I doubt if people would think about the heat and offer a cold beverage.

Have people gotten meaner? Or is it just me?